Texts From Last Night · mamatron's Favorites

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mamatron's Favorites Texts:

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.

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(616): View more from Michigan

he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".

Fav 27 5842 1411
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(574): View more from Indiana

no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.

Fav 23 5962 1914
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(850): View more from Florida

You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.

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(817): View more from Texas

My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.

Fav 11 1422 5861
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(914): View more from New York

My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.

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(765): View more from Indiana

He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.

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