Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers