Texts From Last Night

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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...

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  (504): But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude... http://tfl.nu/qh38
  Replies (8) Good night (1591) Bad night (937) Order T-Shirt
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.

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  (504): She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv. http://tfl.nu/57s8
  Replies (7) Good night (738) Bad night (1624) Order T-Shirt
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt

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  (504): my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt http://tfl.nu/h423
  Replies (25) Good night (817) Bad night (1198) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.

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  (916): I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter. http://tfl.nu/a3e6
  Replies (4) Good night (954) Bad night (2462) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it

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  (407): Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it http://tfl.nu/9yek
  Replies (3) Good night (2050) Bad night (632) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong

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  (740): You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong http://tfl.nu/17fl
  Replies (11) Good night (3029) Bad night (775) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house

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  (425): i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house http://tfl.nu/3ff4
  Replies (40) Good night (7720) Bad night (1123) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.

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  (443): Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest. http://tfl.nu/68lv
  Replies (22) Good night (5268) Bad night (3113) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  doooooooo herrrrrrrrr

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I'm out of practice. be my yoda

  (314): View more from Missouri

  put your penis in her you must.

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  (314): doooooooo herrrrrrrrr (504): I'm out of practice. be my yoda (314): put your penis in her you must. http://tfl.nu/ti1e
  Replies (58) Good night (17889) Bad night (865)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed

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  (504): i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed http://tfl.nu/6hho
  Replies (17) Good night (6733) Bad night (795) Order T-Shirt
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.

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  (504): She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet. http://tfl.nu/znp0
  Replies (48) Good night (10243) Bad night (988) Order T-Shirt
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please

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  (504): today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please http://tfl.nu/2mvs
  Replies (26) Good night (5647) Bad night (637) Order T-Shirt
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie

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  (504): Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie http://tfl.nu/6e1s
  Replies (13) Good night (4341) Bad night (996) Order T-Shirt
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.

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  (504): He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life. http://tfl.nu/mz8p
  Replies (7) Good night (3420) Bad night (722) Order T-Shirt
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?

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  (504): Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober? http://tfl.nu/e9ou
  Replies (9) Good night (1060) Bad night (3067) Order T-Shirt
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.

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  (504): Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone. http://tfl.nu/v2z6
  Replies (14) Good night (2858) Bad night (858) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.

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  (513): I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star. http://tfl.nu/6ohf
  Replies (19) Good night (5305) Bad night (911) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.

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  (925): She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard. http://tfl.nu/tszy
  Replies (17) Good night (4208) Bad night (812) Order T-Shirt