She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.