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K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
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