Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you