Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...