He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.