I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
