I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
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Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
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She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.