fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"