After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
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A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
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after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
I have a yeast infection.