Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
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His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
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They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.