Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.