it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.