i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.