I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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