No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.