Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.