Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.