I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry