please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in