How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
