Texts From Last Night

Texts from December, 2012

• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards. http://tfl.nu/javn
  Replies (13) Good night (565) Bad night (717) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs http://tfl.nu/r0oh
  Replies (13) Good night (2643) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex. http://tfl.nu/mrat
  Replies (7) Good night (1636) Bad night (309)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon. http://tfl.nu/r8yq
  Replies (4) Good night (1163) Bad night (294) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds. http://tfl.nu/9ird
  Replies (6) Good night (809) Bad night (260) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please. http://tfl.nu/hx0x
  Replies (13) Good night (1184) Bad night (372) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car http://tfl.nu/8fhk
  Replies (6) Good night (967) Bad night (357) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you? http://tfl.nu/5tj4
  Replies (8) Good night (624) Bad night (533) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse. http://tfl.nu/53yl
  Replies (13) Good night (1026) Bad night (1100) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. http://tfl.nu/l82s
  Replies (4) Good night (968) Bad night (319) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it? http://tfl.nu/d94j
  Replies (4) Good night (911) Bad night (257) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens. http://tfl.nu/3z5p
  Replies (6) Good night (1155) Bad night (249) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest. http://tfl.nu/joqb
  Replies (9) Good night (1169) Bad night (318) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep. http://tfl.nu/ua0k
  Replies (12) Good night (2401) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake? http://tfl.nu/87n8
  Replies (4) Good night (749) Bad night (647)