He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.