She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep