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It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
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