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the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
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