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I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
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