Texts From Last Night

Texts from May, 2011

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  (217): View more from Illinois

  she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work

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  (217): she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work http://tfl.nu/qwhd
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".

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  (+44): Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices". http://tfl.nu/tgpv
  Replies (4) Good night (2871) Bad night (671) Order T-Shirt
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?

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  (647): he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird? http://tfl.nu/hpqu
  Replies (7) Good night (2939) Bad night (1063) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.

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  (336): He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one. http://tfl.nu/csjr
  Replies (10) Good night (1108) Bad night (4689) Order T-Shirt
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy

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  (240): I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy http://tfl.nu/3nw9
  Replies (3) Good night (955) Bad night (3309) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.

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  (513): Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair. http://tfl.nu/sr76
  Replies (2) Good night (824) Bad night (1776) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"

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  (814): All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories" http://tfl.nu/dbqw
  Replies (6) Good night (2609) Bad night (931) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.

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  (603): I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife. http://tfl.nu/98pl
  Replies (11) Good night (1062) Bad night (2400) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.

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  (734): I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady. http://tfl.nu/nlis
  Replies (8) Good night (3777) Bad night (795) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.

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  (248): Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby. (248): There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction. http://tfl.nu/82qp
  Replies (5) Good night (2389) Bad night (746)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight

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  (780): I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight http://tfl.nu/0wae
  Replies (2) Good night (1539) Bad night (721) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.

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  (512): The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain. http://tfl.nu/r278
  Replies (6) Good night (1880) Bad night (724) Order T-Shirt
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  (779): View more from Illinois

  Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.

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  (779): Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge. http://tfl.nu/lg3i
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  (61): View more from Australia

  Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.

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  (61): Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above. http://tfl.nu/o1v2
  Replies (5) Good night (754) Bad night (2151)
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  (714): View more from California

  we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz

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  (714): we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz http://tfl.nu/j793
  Replies (7) Good night (1578) Bad night (1240) Order T-Shirt