Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training