Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training