All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
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Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
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I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.