i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
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They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
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he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.