That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.