someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.