he fucked my hip out of place.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
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I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
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you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.