he fucked my hip out of place.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.