Texts From Last Night

Texts from May, 2011

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  (512): View more from Texas

  all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me

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  (512): all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me http://tfl.nu/xqib
  Replies (7) Good night (2389) Bad night (840) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.

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  (913): Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend. http://tfl.nu/iume
  Replies (5) Good night (810) Bad night (2137) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I stole so many things from the ER last night.

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  (309): I stole so many things from the ER last night. http://tfl.nu/lt6b
  Replies (10) Good night (2477) Bad night (832) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening

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  (540): I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening http://tfl.nu/76la
  Replies (3) Good night (656) Bad night (1442) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.

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  (406): The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been. http://tfl.nu/1jfg
  Replies (3) Good night (1139) Bad night (1560) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"

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  (510): Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU" http://tfl.nu/83a4
  Replies (7) Good night (2366) Bad night (687) Order T-Shirt
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.

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  (573): You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up. (816): Sorry about that. Except for the cookies. http://tfl.nu/ub9m
  Replies (6) Good night (2935) Bad night (612)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.

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  (563): I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer. http://tfl.nu/sbgi
  Replies (3) Good night (2286) Bad night (738) Order T-Shirt
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that

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  (806): Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that http://tfl.nu/ovs4
  Replies (8) Good night (2492) Bad night (698) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna

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  (703): that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good (1-703): that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna http://tfl.nu/tr0q
  Replies (7) Good night (4037) Bad night (791) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.

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  (815): In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up. http://tfl.nu/thus
  Replies (8) Good night (2398) Bad night (604) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward

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  (410): I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward http://tfl.nu/w0c9
  Replies (10) Good night (3164) Bad night (687) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.

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  (519): He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba. http://tfl.nu/mbtr
  Replies (7) Good night (2712) Bad night (616) Order T-Shirt
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  (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland

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  (+31): its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland http://tfl.nu/q1fm
  Replies (7) Good night (1527) Bad night (862) Order T-Shirt
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  (044): View more from

  I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.

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  (044): I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks. http://tfl.nu/8eb6
  Replies (8) Good night (1518) Bad night (1191) Order T-Shirt