Texts From Last Night

Texts from December, 2012

• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?! http://tfl.nu/9kiq
  Replies (5) Good night (996) Bad night (236)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (320): How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...? http://tfl.nu/7ruq
  Replies (8) Good night (724) Bad night (281) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them http://tfl.nu/4k2w
  Replies (5) Good night (1654) Bad night (244) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony. http://tfl.nu/3z52
  Replies (3) Good night (615) Bad night (348) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on. http://tfl.nu/pfvu
  Replies (2) Good night (267) Bad night (525) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries http://tfl.nu/0e3x
  Replies (3) Good night (817) Bad night (216) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise http://tfl.nu/29uw
  Replies (8) Good night (800) Bad night (280) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth http://tfl.nu/he9m
  Replies (1) Good night (443) Bad night (356) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"? http://tfl.nu/rwp7
  Replies (4) Good night (1211) Bad night (190) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (229): You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name http://tfl.nu/wjcx
  Replies (2) Good night (1444) Bad night (223) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (445): View more from Pennsylvania

  We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (445): We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing http://tfl.nu/ir7s
  Replies (6) Good night (841) Bad night (279) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze. http://tfl.nu/d2nt
  Replies (4) Good night (1093) Bad night (300) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent http://tfl.nu/u4ks
  Replies (2) Good night (680) Bad night (219) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one http://tfl.nu/6mot
  Replies (6) Good night (235) Bad night (975) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though. http://tfl.nu/97ky
  Replies (2) Good night (696) Bad night (563) Order T-Shirt