Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"