There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
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My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
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After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
this must be what syphilis tastes like