She even gives head with a lisp.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...