That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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