I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...