Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?