I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
our cab driver is having phone sex.