At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
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splinters make it hard to masturbate
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
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You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"