Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
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I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
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The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life