meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
i think my cat just said my name.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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