So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
