You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
