when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
