dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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