I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
