dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
